


In which Dave and pepsiman have a platonic date, but they all end up playing minecraft hypixel bedwars and die

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Cheating, Dating, Hypixel - Freeform, Making Out, Minecraft, Multi, Platonic Dating, bedwars, mcdonalds, no this is not ironic btw, please blame the people i wrote this with
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:00:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23604193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: read this 4 free minecraft diamonds :3
Relationships: Dave strider/pepsiman, Dirk Strider/Karkat Vantas, Eridan Ampora/Sollux Captor, Terezi Pyrope/Vriska Serket
Comments: 5
Kudos: 10





	In which Dave and pepsiman have a platonic date, but they all end up playing minecraft hypixel bedwars and die

**Author's Note:**

> I WROTE THIS WITH 2 OTHER PEOPLE.  
> you can add them on pesterchum (yeah, its an actual thing)   
> me (apexUngulate)  
> lingeringChaos  
> jocularDweeb

222222222222222222today is the day. vriskas husband (pepsuman) is having a platonic date in mcdonalds with someone very special. his name is dave stroodle, and vriska is very very angry. because she is jealous. she decided to follow his husband (secretly) to see whats going on in mdconalds. there, vaska notices that this “dave” person has a girlfiend too!!!????? omg, vriska is just SOOOOOOOO shocked rihgt now…. she audibly gasps , enough for the whole city of texas in alabama to hear her gasp.. but omg, vriska notices something even WORSE! dave is not respecting the social distancing rules!! he is 2 feet away from pepsiman and not 6!!! he will get the budlight virus!! like, lol omg who would name a virus after beer laughing out loud! 

vriska is still hiding behind the stop sign outside the mcodnalds. she has binoculars, and she the,n… turns around and sees DAve’s girlfriend! Terezi! Pyrope! From! Homestuck! By! Andrey! Hussie! “OMG H3Y TH3R3 VRSK1 è!!!! “ “Omg hiiiiiiii” vriska smiles and hugs terzei like the moirail she is and she feels sometig weird with terepy… she fels something down there 😳. “SO OUR BOYFR13NDS R CH34T1NG ON US.. L3TS G3T OUR R3V3NG3 BY CH34T1NG ON TH3M 4ND H4V1NG SOM3 P4L3 S3X” ( FOR JUST1C3!!!!!! >:] ) “Cause baby tonight”. and magically a buket falls out of the skye like god listened to our 2 lesbian (are thyy lesbiaN??) protaginists? i mean they have a boyfriend so idk 😳 if theyre lsbian. the narrator is slightly confused but decides to continbue. 

now lets switch pov. dave and pepsimans pov. pepsiman, ordered a börger for his platonic date )dave( and it s really tasty and amerikan. like, a merican BRUGER %100 . percent. ameciran 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸 dave loves ameican. because OBAMA! (abama for short) dave is planning on naming his child barack and changing his last nqme (stroodle) to obama (obama) . pepsiman is staring into dave’s eyes, with his beautiful, sexy manly face (platonically! ). dave spills sauce on pepsmnaan ‘s face and decides that licking it is the best option for a bro date. he looks at pepsiman straight in the eyes and says “dont mind me” and runs his wet, warm tongue around the shapes of pepsiman’s face. tracing his manly sharp cheekbone, (like the kyle he is). Pepsiman puts both of his hands on dave’s booty cheeks and drags him closer to him. he starts licking back, and dave lets out a weak, shaky moan from his throat. god this is getting so platonic *wonk* 

back to tz and vooska. voreska grabs the bukett and looks at terezo’s red eyes and says “lets go to dave stroodle’s house and have coke and 8owl tortur there.” terezi moans in anticipation and grabs vriska in her arms and runs to the house as fast as she can. when they get inside vrosk8 grabs terezi’s face and makes out w her like there is no tomorow. terezi doesnt pull back and yeets her whore on the couch so she can be on top. vrisak goes ahegao and looks so hot. “YOU LOOK SO HOT VR1S4K” says terzi as she grabs the tiddi. “g8sh were soooooooo evil ::::) ch8ing on our manz” they kontinu making out but sudenly, karkat and dirk come out of dav’s room, and they look like they did some bad things uwu.   
“WHAT THE FUCK VRISKI” says karkat “oh! karrot! i didnt kn8w u were here!” says vriski in shock. dirk just stands there with a blank expression as ususal because he is dense. 

in the meantime. dave has finished licking a strangers face in a public place, he decides to take pepsiman to his place. for platonic purposes of course. dave is driving a mini van. with pepsiman in the seat next 2 him.. dave tries to ignore the screams of the children who are tied up in the backseats. once they ariive home, dave realizes somthing… DAVE DRINKS COKE !!!! AND HAS TONS OF IT IN HIS FRIDGEU!!!!!!! dave astarst hyperventilating and pepsiman looks at him. “What’s wrong, Dave?” dave cant talk. he starts crying because he doesnt want pepsiman to see the amounts of coke in daves fridge, its too muchb for dave to handle. pepsiman grabs dave, and hugs him. “Hey bro, whatever’s on your mind, know that it’ll be fine okay. I’m here for you, bro.” dave cries in pespiman’s chest, and weakly hugs him back,tears blurring his vision almost completely. pesiman opens the door, and OMG he sees something …. really……. shoking. his GIRFLRIND ( vrisak) is making out with terezi on the couch, and dirk (daves bro) and karkat are holding hands! what the fuck happend:???üüü dave gets up and looks at them, with a shocked expression.“LETS SORsTHIS OUT WITH A GAME OF MINECRAFT HYPIXEL BEDWARS WHEOVER WINS GETS ALL THE GIRLS(and the boys!)” vriska, terezi, dirk, pepsiman, and dave nod. theyre doin this. theyre makin this hapen . 

the bedwars minecraft ga,me begins like this. the teams are: dave&pepsiman , karkat&dirk, terezu&vriska . terezi and vriska are minecraft tryhards , and they manage to get armor and a decent bed protection . they r gonna win thisää!!!!! dave and pepsuman are destroing everyowone at pvp . . . and dirk and karkat keep dying! theyre so bad. wait, dirk is good but karkt sucks. at minecraft. wait.. theres another team that appears!! they dont know these people :OOO !!! they all stop fighting, and look at the skye. HAXKERS! omg.. karkat knows these peopple…… SOLLUX AND ERIDAN HACKED!!!!!!!!! THE GAME!!!!! wait.. theyre gonna win …. if they can fly, this isnt fair! “This isn’t fair.” Dirk says. karkat , dave, terezi and vriska nod in agreement. dirk is Smart. he installs hacks, because hes EA gamer. karkat watches his teammate fly, and he helps dirk. they both start fighting eridan and sollux, but theyre too strong! doirk dies a heroic death while trying to fight the hackers , and karkat wants to take his revenge. cause baby tonight, the creepers tryig to steal all our stuff again,... karkat can hear this song play in his head, as he jumps and tries to kill sollux. he tragically dies, and the two remaining teams watch in horror as he falls into the void .”TH1S 1SNT F41R!” terey screams, and eridan says “it is, stfu” and sollux nods in agreement. vriska starts shooting arrows at the,m, and she manages to kill eridan. omgü!! briska is SUCH a g4m3rgrl :O . :) <<<<3 (holy shit why the fuck were there 6 people in the google doc lMFAO) BRISKa what THE FUCK. MM your SO hot thHey all Say WHILe SucKKIng EachOThers MinecracK tottles. MMMMMMMMMM OH GOD O H YES what The fck MMM yummy.  
lets go play half life. but then wait. waht the fuck is happemoinmg what the hell is going on here I ehsat the fuck apoh shit aac cuunnmmuoika what does that mean

Suddenly, Anothr Team joins in!!?!? John Freeman and The Demi-Fieund Featureing John Freman and DemFiend From the Full Life consequaneses and SMT3 Nuctorne join the Game of Minecraftle bed warz! minecraft battle ytoayule coming soon :OOO WoAh!.... the half life scientist comes in. “Do tou know who ate all the donmuts?” :OOO EPIC CROSSOVER HOMESUTCK/HALF LIFE L:OOOOOO THIS iS BEYR EPIC IOJNDEED RHEWY ALL KNOW TWhAR THEY ARE GOING TO DO THEY NEED TO TERAM UP TO FIGHT THE HALF LIFE TEAM1!!!!!

The Demi-Fondle Then does a sicc Dabb on the Minecraftle bed! Whomstdve John Freeman Says “We will won this you Hummans and Trollerz and bepis too!” They start to kill the Scientist man while saying “Wikpa the free Unencyloped that Any can use is the Corr ekt term to say!” woah rthis is very epic wow ALMdao


End file.
